An Open Letter to Michael Cera by Suzanne Sutherland
Dear Michael Cera,
Hi, how are you? You always seem like such a likeable, down-to-earth sort of guy that it seemed like a good idea to write you a letter. In the following letter I hope you will find that I have recently enjoyed Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, that I am very excited for the “pre-production” (IMDB) Scott Pilgrim movie, and that I have, as a whole, enjoyed your career in film and television thus far.
First and foremost, I would like to say how much I enjoyed your work in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. I know that there’s a lot of haters out there, but your ability to stick to your charmingly awkward guns in this YA novel-turned heart-warming teen rom-com stole my heart in addition to the $4 I had in my wallet that I was planning on buying pizza with.
Secondly, I would like to express how excited I am that you will be starring in the upcoming Scott Pilgrim movie. I live just up the street from Honest Ed’s, so if you were ever to get hungry while filming this winter you could come by for soup or something. I’ve been watching some of Clark and Michael. It was my interpretation from the show that you enjoy soup. Please say hi to Clark for me, by the way. I saw part of an episode of Greek one time while I was on my way out somewhere. It seemed pretty okay.
The third thing I’d like to focus on in this letter is your previous accomplishments and how much I’ve enjoyed them and/or how much they’ve meant to me. Aside from the aforementioned Clark and Michael, I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed your work on Arrested Development, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, as well as in Superbad. Juno was okay, I guess. I liked it when I first saw it, but the more time people spent talking about it and listening to the Moldy Peaches the more I was all, “Hold on guys.”
In this letter I sought to prove that I enjoy your work, Michael, and that I have a relatively great knowledge of your career in film and television. I feel that my overarching use of the “hamburger essay method” has led to a well-structured and overall good letter. In conclusion, I would like to remind you of my offer for soup, or to otherwise crash on the couch in my living room if the situation were ever to come up (it’s a pull-out!).
Yours ’til butter flies,