ASK GRANDMA: Go ahead, ask her
My grandma is the man. She just turned 99 yesterday. But really actually. And peep this: she swims twice a week. She plays euchre. She does the Globe and Mail crossword puzzle. Every day. She votes Democrat, hates the Catholic Church, and bakes me raisin bran muffins every time I come home. If there is a radder woman on this planet, she’s probably an asshole.
Mary Arnott, who raised four brothers and sisters herself on Staten Island in the ’20s, is also a smart lady. She can tell you precisely how the Blue Jays’ bullpen is doing, how to pick up boys at journalism school, or how Canada fucked up the price of gold in the ’30s and deprived my family of untold riches. And now she wants to impart her wisdom onto you, good readers of JUICEBOXdotcom. Got problems? Struggles? Interest in Northern Ontario mining corporations? Time to let the healing begin by asking my grandma whatever you want. She’s listening. And she’ll be responding to your queries on bi-monthly-ish basis (she’s a busy lady, in case you couldn’t tell, you lazy effers). So go ahead. Ask grandma here or by emailing email@example.com.