Author Archive

What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?

By Ashley Carter • Nov 20th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Via the Huffington Post:

P.s. It’s no secret that I love me some Peanuts. Do you know how many relevant Charlie Brown TV special titles there are for this post other than the one above? No? I will tell you:

“This Is America, Charlie Brown” (1988)
“Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (and Don’t Come Back!!)” (1980)

“Race For Your Life, [...]



“Stupid clock with day, month and date read out”

By Ashley Carter • Nov 20th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

My mom will enjoy this one. From Craigslist Ventura:

I bought this stupid clock on E-Bay for my 86-year old aunt, because she is getting confused. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize until it arrived that you have to manually change everything, every day, except the time.
Every day. Push three buttons. If you forget for a day, or [...]



Cognac mashed potatoes

By Ashley Carter • Nov 19th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Snoop was on Martha Stewart yesterday.

Yeah, I got nothing either. Part 1 here.



JUICEBOX remembers: Ghost Dad

By Ashley Carter • Nov 17th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Did you know this was directed by Sidney Poitier?



Shocker and awe

By Ashley Carter • Nov 14th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Via Bill Whish via Whitehouse.gov:

GW posing with the Arizona State track team a couple of days ago. It’s supposedly the ASU pitchfork sign. Ha. From a post on BoingBoing:
As someone who lives in Tempe, AZ (home of ASU) I can tell you this is the “trident” sign for the schools sports teams. I have had [...]



bam! freezie pops!

By Ashley Carter • Nov 14th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

A passion + a dedication.



Batman sues Batman

By Ashley Carter • Nov 13th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

In keeping with the COMICSCOMICSCOMICS theme that we seem to be pushing here at JBdotcom lately (thanks Stats), and to whore ourselves ever so slightly to the terrifying influx of traffic being linked here through Dinosaur Comics (thanks Ryan), let’s chat about this little oil town in Turkey called Batman. Wikipedia tells me it [...]



The NY Times gets got

By Ashley Carter • Nov 12th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

There’s this collective of bigbrained culture jammers you’ve probably heard of called The Yes Men. They pull crazy elaborate shit like posing as spokespeople for the WTO, Dow Chemical, McDonald’s, and the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development — and they get away with it, causing a good amount of chaos in the [...]



REVIEW: The Hold Steady @ the Phoenix, Toronto 11/11/08

By Ashley Carter • Nov 12th, 2008 • Category: Featured!, Hits & Misses, Live

I forgive you for the harpsichord song.



The Smoking Jay McCarrol

By Ashley Carter • Nov 10th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

It’s about damn time one of our friends found themselves in the middle of a Smoking Gun investigation. Ladies and gentlemen, young Jay McCarrol — star of Nirvana the Band the Show, one of the few web comedy series we are guilty of enjoying — got caught impersonating a giant douchebag who happens to share [...]



This Week in Animals Riding Other Animals

By Ashley Carter • Nov 6th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Back by popular demand.

Aren’t they supposed to be natural enemies? EAT HIM. But actually, I can’t believe this can even exist as a regular feature. And is anyone as amused as I am by these posts activating smart ads by the WSPA?



JUICEBOX remembers: Home Alone 1

By Ashley Carter • Nov 3rd, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog



Happy hallows eve. Is this your son?

By Ashley Carter • Oct 31st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

So I was just regaling someone with the tale of this one house my friends and I used to trick or treat at. It was full of what we thought were cooler older kids, probably engineering students in retrospect, and instead of giving out candy bars each year, they would toss a crumply note into [...]



This Week in Bears

By Ashley Carter • Oct 28th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Colbert is going to lose his shit.

But actually.



GIVE US THE DOCUMENTS, FARFOUR!

By Ashley Carter • Oct 26th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Via the beautiful and talented Bill Whish, “state-run TV in Lebanon produced a propaganda-filled children’s show about reclaiming the holy land and crushing the Jews. Only Mickey Mouse and a Bumble Bee are the ones doing the cute indoctrinations. Hilarious and terrifying at the same time. You could say they’re ‘Hilarifying.’” HIYO.
In this episode Farfour [...]



“Light house cleaning needed”

By Ashley Carter • Oct 22nd, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Houston:
Need some light house cleaning. I’m pretty busy and not able to clean my apartment so I need someone to do some light work once a week or so. Here are some pictures to give a general idea.



JUICEBOXdot2.0

By Ashley Carter • Oct 21st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

For those who haven’t had their ear to the ground, we’re holding a JUICEBOXdotcom general meeting tonight with the goal of putting this drunken lout of a website back up on its boots.
Come hangarang if you have ideas for a weekly feature, general pitches, or a cash donation of upwards of $70. Or a [...]



Not that we’re all that surprised, but…

By Ashley Carter • Oct 21st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Ladies and gentlemen, John Lydon.



Ringo Starr doesn’t love you anymore

By Ashley Carter • Oct 14th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

In a massive blow to Marge Simpson, originating narrator of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends (oh, and former Beatle) Ringo Starr has decided to throw all of your fan mail in the garbage can.

Yes, nothing sent to this wizened old man will be signed after October 20th. Says Ringo in a “SERIOUS MESSAGE” [...]



in honour of last night’s debate

By Ashley Carter • Oct 8th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist SF Valley, courtesy of our good friend Eleanor:
NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM
Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.
Major adult studio.
Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP
Pay: $2000-3000
No anal required
* Location: LA
* it’s NOT [...]



Hiatus, don’t hate us

By Ashley Carter • Oct 1st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Looks like your good friends at JUICEBOXdotcom will be buggering around New York, land of the horse + buggy and no Internet technology (or so we hear), for the next few days. So unless someone (you) picks up the slack, this post here you’re reading will become an all too familiar sight in its current [...]



“To the guy sailing across Mission Bay with a porch umbrella”

By Ashley Carter • Sep 29th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist San Diego:
I suppose you were windsurfing. I’ve never seen anyone windsurf with a porch umbrella for a sail, boldly charging across the bay like a cross between Admiral Nelson and Mary Poppins. I was amazed — you didn’t just sail downwind, I swear I saw you tacking. You, sir, are my hero. I [...]



BEST FRIDAYS: with Taylor Wilde

By Ashley Carter • Sep 26th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

This is normally [...]



“Free: Sponges (as promised)”

By Ashley Carter • Sep 18th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Denver:
Will be out on front porch at 1:00pm today. Do not come any earlier, they will not be there. Please limit one per person. Do not knock or try to ring the doorbell in hopes of getting an edge on anyone else. NO ONE WILL ANSWER.
I am very busy today so I will [...]



What happens when you leave a private account logged in on a public computer

By Ashley Carter • Sep 12th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

But who uses Twitter anyway?



BEST FRIDAYS: with Spookey Ruben

By Ashley Carter • Sep 12th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

More from the [...]



Another sunny afternoon…

By Ashley Carter • Sep 8th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

As per our continuing mission to chronicle all things funny and happening-to-Oasis-y, we give you Noel Gallagher getting cold-cocked by a fan at V-Fest this past weekend (FF to about 1:25, impatient types):



“Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party”

By Ashley Carter • Sep 4th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Chicago:

We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn’t even need to [...]



100 posts!

By Ashley Carter • Aug 31st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

TAKE THAT, SITES WITH 99 POSTS ON THEM!



Breakfast meat + Bukowski

By Ashley Carter • Aug 27th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

New restaurant in Chicago = Chinaski’s. I think Hank would be proud.

From Timeout Chicago:
A GOOD PLACE TO GET LIT It’s not the bookstore the neighborhood badly needs, but Chinaski’s is nevertheless doing its part to bring a little literary culture to its strip of Damen Avenue. Having taken over the Whiskey Road space a few [...]



INTERVIEW: Bruce McDonald (part 3!)

By Ashley Carter • Aug 27th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Remember when there was a part 1 and 2 of this interview? Yeah, I didn’t until now. It’s no secret that things have been a little slack lately in the cogs of the JUICEBOXdotcom monstermachine. Somehow in the midst of moving (which reminds me, new mailing address!), a full technological breakdown, and the tribute night [...]



!

By Ashley Carter • Aug 26th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog



The Old Prince Still Lives at Home

By Ashley Carter • Aug 25th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

(Cross-posted to Torontoist)

Though he wasn’t born and raised in West Philly (try Kenya and London Ontario, respectively), Toronto-based and Polaris-nominated emcee Shad has dropped this unstoppable shot-by-shot send-up of the Fresh Prince title sequence as the video for his latest single, “The Old Prince Still Lives At Home.” With London valiantly subbing in for Bel-Air, [...]



BEST FRIDAYS: with Raymi the Minx

By Ashley Carter • Aug 15th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

Just when we [...]



“Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend”

By Ashley Carter • Aug 14th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist SF:
I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I’m 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I’m old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm [...]



INTERVIEW: Bruce McDonald (part 2!)

By Ashley Carter • Aug 13th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

Yipes, Hard Core Logo Night this Thursday. FYI, we have a block of tickets on reserve for our friends & loyal JBdotcom readers (which in some cases are one in the same). And here’s more from our boy Bruce who will be valiantly darting between Pontypool pick-ups and HCL funtown the night of. Because he [...]



WORST MONDAYS: with Raymi the Minx

By Ashley Carter • Aug 11th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

After the Warren Kinsella debacle that was our last Best/Worst, we thought it’d be appropriate to follow [...]



INTERVIEW: Bruce McDonald (part 1!)

By Ashley Carter • Aug 8th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

So after a brutal week of moving to new digs, having both our computers simultaneously + spontaneously combust on us, and working out this Hard Core Logo thing that we’ve already yapped to death about (Eye Weekly even interviewed us, how this seems like a good idea to anyone outside of my little brother, let [...]



“FOUND: Canadian Tire $Money$”

By Ashley Carter • Aug 1st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Toronto:
Brief case full of Canadian tire money…one Dollar “bills” very neatly bundled up with those fat purple elastic bands generally used for broccoli. Also, blueprints for some kind of under ground bunker. The only other thing in the briefcase was a mini Etch-e-sketch on a key chain. No judgments people!
So if you can [...]



REVIEW: Wakestock, Toronto Island, July 24-27

By Ashley Carter • Jul 30th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

My shoes got wrecked, someone got struck by lightning, and this dog with a backstage pass kept rushing past us during RZA and GZA.
A+.



JBdotcom becomes Warren Kinsella fansite

By Ashley Carter • Jul 24th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

NOW HOLD ON JUST A SECOND… do you mean to tell me that all we had to do to get 2000 hits a day was to tag a post with ‘Warren Kinsella‘? Really? A post where he tells you about his worst haircut? Because say no more, web denizens (and certainly you’ve said enough in [...]



“Autographed Copy of Plato’s Republic”

By Ashley Carter • Jul 22nd, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Chicago:
FOR SALE: 1st edition of The Republic signed by its author. There is of course a reasonable amount of wear and tear, (light highlighting and underlining, dog-eared pages, back cover missing, etc.), but it is in overall good condition considering its age.
First come first serve
From Colorado:
PINK PLASTIC LAWN FLAMINGOS
three pink plastic lawn [...]



BEST FRIDAYS: with Patrick O’Dell

By Ashley Carter • Jul 11th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

Why yes, it’s [...]



“Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)”

By Ashley Carter • Jul 10th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist Montreal:
I picked up this Jar at my uncles estate sale. It’s believed to contain a ghost! possibly of George Harrison. If you’re in to ghosts and other super natural phenomenon, or are a Beatles fan, this is the item for you.

Also, from Albany:

FOR SALE: CATBUS
I HAVE A 1995 MO’ VAN THAT GOT [...]



WORST MONDAYS: with Patrick O’Dell

By Ashley Carter • Jul 7th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

Okay, stop me if you`ve heard this one:
Patrick O’Dell has essentially built a career around having more [...]



JUICEBOXdotcom vs. A VELOCIRAPTOR

By Ashley Carter • Jul 2nd, 2008 • Category: Articles, Features

With all due credit to the world’s 10-year-olds, JUICEBOXdotcom never really grew out of its dinosaur obsession. So when we got the press release for something called WALKING WITH DINOSAURS at the Air Canada Centre, we lost our collective shit. How had we never heard of this until now? Apparently it’s a critically acclaimed $20 [...]



“who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m”

By Ashley Carter • Jul 1st, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog

From Craigslist NYC:
a) how did you get into my mailbox in the first place, it is locked
b) did you kill the bird
c) it died horribly, that much was clear
d) you’re psycho
e) do I know you
f) if I do know you I don’t want to know you
g) if I don’t know you, what did I do [...]



99 problems but that oasis dude ain’t one

By Ashley Carter • Jun 29th, 2008 • Category: Juiceblog, Music + Film

However long ago, when Jay Z was announced as part of the Glastonbury lineup, all kinds of bizarro festival purists decided that hip-hop had no place at their guitar hero festival. Most notable in this war against radness, was scrunchy-faced Noel Gallagher who snapped his fingers and said:
“I’m sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. Glastonbury has [...]



BEST FRIDAYS: with Nardwuar the Human Serviette

By Ashley Carter • Jun 27th, 2008 • Category: Worst Mondays/Best Fridays

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

Nardwuar in Vancouver [...]



The epicly epic Patrick O’Dell

By Ashley Carter • Jun 27th, 2008 • Category: Film, Juiceblog

Cross-posted to Torontoist.

For our Toronto brethren, if you notice a more concentrated prevalence of Wayfarers and Vans around the College/Spadina area over the next month, it’s because that’s where Manhattan skate photographer/documentarian/badical dude Patrick O’Dell is plunking down his first solo photo exhibit starting today.
O’Dell has essentially built a career around having more fun than [...]