IT’S STREAMING RIGHT NOW! QUICK BEFORE THE JOKE’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

As reported yesterday over at my day job, that once-awesome band the Smashing Pumpkins were in night two of sucking hard in New York City when dark overlord Billy Corgan invited a heckler from the first night on to the stage. Dark hilariousness ensues.

Nice one, Billy. You bad ass. “Take Your Dick Out Of My [...]

This shit is crazy.

Last weekend I went to the Fest. Now I’m going home. Slowly. The time spent in a van with six other dudes has given me plenty of time to think about my life and the sad, directionless way I live it. Jokes. Everything rules. I wrote about this simple truth twice this week. And in [...]

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

My mom gets [...]

7:24: Arrive with the Flatliners in Warner Robins, Georgia, a town none of us have ever heard of. The bar they’re playing tonight is called Crickets, and is full of rednecks playing pool. It, unsurprisingly, has no internet and is playing FOX News on the television while country music blares. I am informed by the [...]

With the impending salvation or utter ruin of the American Empire upon us, some friends of ours made an online series exploring the evolution of the American electoral process. And farting.

Next two episodes after the jump.

It’s starting. See you in the morning.

Right now I’m in a parking lot in Tallahassee, Florida. There’s a terrible ska band playing inside a bar called The Engine Room. I’m in the van of good JUICEBOXdotcom friends the Flatliners, waiting, waitng, waiting for gentle release to come (read: the ska to end). Also, I am the designated driver tonight at a [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

So there’s this punk band from Toronto called Fucked Up. They’ve been putting out really good singles [...]

Located somewhere around Charlotte, North Carolina, the Charlotte Douglas International Airport is at first notable because it doesn’t seem to be near anything. Unlike past airports, such as The One in Toronto, there really doesn’t look like there’s anything here. No suburban expanse and no urban development to speak of. Seriously. From the air, it [...]

I’m going to be out of town, but if you live in or around Toronto, there’s not a better way to spend your time at Sneaky Dee’s this weekend than watching ALL THESE FUCKING BANDS. It breaks my heart a little that I won’t be able to witness that magic myself, but I’ll be watching [...]

No time to be clever. We’ve got to watch every 311 music video ever because MTV just launched MTV Music, a magical land which holds 16,000 music videos from the channel’s gargantuan archives. Plus the thing has every MTV Unplugged, VH1 Storytellers, and all the other good non-Hills MTV shows from before everything sucked. The [...]

I always want to write more about the current American election here. But then I spend an hour reading news and opinion everywhere else on the internet and question how much I truly have to add to the discourse (although I evidently feel my thoughts matter to the world when it comes to Australian DUI [...]

Since it’s getting cold and we no longer have fun things to do in the street, your friends at JUICEBOXdotcom are going to be getting down to some serious shit in the next month or so. Seriously, we just watch Dexter and make mashed potatoes these days, and while it rules, there’s a big ol’ [...]

As further proof that Australia is a nation of criminals and crazy people*, Reuters is reporting a delightful case of “driving while disqualified, drunken driving, driving in a menacing manner and not obeying police instructions,” in which a 37 year-old undertaker slowly followed a young women in his hearse, shouting drunken obscenities at her through [...]

We know your last thoughts as you lay alone in bed every night, waiting for sleep to take you away to that beautiful land of gumdrops and Sarah Palin-lookalike pornography, are of the inner workings of your favourite website. Us. How are the decisions made? Who truly runs this tight, brilliant, beautiful ship? Who’s that [...]

Some really incredibly important shit has happened this week. There was an election in Canada that resulted in a minority Conservative government, so, shitty. There was a presidential debate in the States that made some middle American doubebag plumber famous, so, weird. And Frankie fucking Venom died, which is just tragic and truly bums me [...]

In a brilliant move that only furthers my desire to one day house myself inside the Googleplex, the good folks at Google have added a new feature to Gmail dubbed “Mail Goggles.” What does this fine little application do, gentle inebriated reader? It adds skill-testing math questions to your mail compositions that keep you from [...]

Our good friend Alejandro just e-mailed this to us and BLEW OUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT OUR EARS. People are cool.

We here at The J.B. have a secret past. It’s sexy:

Some writers will fall back on tales of alcoholism or law-breaking to cement their credibility in the rock ‘em sock ‘em world of internets blogging. Not us. We made a copyright-evading musical about a shark. It’s very awesome. Just ask all the handsome folks [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

One time, Taylor Wilde picked me up and carried me down Bloor Street. I have never felt [...]

If you’ve been on the internet in the last three days, you’ve probably come across this video. It’s just so. Fucking. Strange. Apologies to those of you who have seen this shit four times already, but to the uninitiated: Sir Ben Kingsley, or Gandhi to his friends, stars in a video where he pretends to [...]

In news that can only be described as totally awesome fodder for a great Danny Boyle film, those kooky Australians have issued the world’s first license to allow the CLONING OF HUMAN EMBRYOS. While the purpose of the license is supposedly the innocent-sounding practice of “obtaining embryonic stem cells”, it’s obvious that it won’t take [...]

When it was announced Spike Jonze would be directing the big-screen adaption of rad-as-fuck kids’ book Where the Wild Things Are, we got substantial brain boners thinking about the possibilities. And then we heard Dave Eggers was writing the thing, and those same brain boners burst out of our ears and moved to Brooklyn, where [...]

Yeah, that’s our boy Roger Ebert and our other boy Russ Meyer. You know which film critic has never made a rad movie with the sexploitation king? Lou Lumenick. Writer for the New York Post. Who is a dick.
There’s this festival happening in our town right now. We’re lazy and we don’t really care [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

A little while back we hosted this Hard Core Logo Tribute Night. One of the highlights was [...]

The Wooden Sky are a great band. They have this song, also called “The Wooden Sky”, and I made this fine little video of them playing it in a living room for my real job. I think it warrants sharing since it’s such an incredible performance. And the video is obviously top-notch. Enjoy, kids.

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

We can barely [...]

I had dreams when we started this little blog-o-zine (over ONE HUNDRED POSTS AGO). Dreams about politics, and the writing about them. But there are people who do it better and are smarter, and really, when you’re offering in-depth analysis of Colin Farrell’s dong and kitten hats, who cares what you think about, say Sarah [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

What’s up: Dan Werb. Realize. Respect. And so on. Besides being one-half of the only electro-pop band [...]

Really! To a new house, not a new domain or a new media conglomerate or something. It’s still annoying, though. See you in a few days.

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

So for those [...]

Alright, kids, more Hard Core Logo Tribute Night announcements.
1) We’ve got sweet dudes and ladies singing from the Flatliners, the Wooden Sky, Titan, Vilipend, Dance Electric, Spookey Rueben, Springloaded, and Little Millionaires (ex-Bombs Over Providence).
And more to come.
Plus unannounceable but very special SPECIAL GUESTS.
2) We’ve got rare CDs, shirts, and limited-pressing vinyl from [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

The Fullblast were a really awesome band from Toronto’s westward suburban expanse (known affectionately as “the 905″) [...]

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

At this point, [...]

We already told you to take August 14 off of work, life, and sobriety. Now we’re telling everyone else on the internets and letting a few details slip. We’re holding the whole caboodle until Monday morning, when we spam the shit out of mainstream press with hot tips and cool treats, but for now, this [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday! (Except for, you know, last Monday. Sorry.)

When combing the internet provides you with a photo of [...]

Being the coolest fucking dude on the internet, I just got home from a midnight screening of the most nerd-boner-inducing movie of 2008, The Dark Knight. It’s now almost 4 a.m. and my house is about four or five degrees hotter than it is outside, which would make it about 35 degrees Celsius in my [...]

In a series of actions that can only be described as totally awesome, some Canadian “internet company” that “specializes in pornography” (I’m sure their other ventures include knitting how-to and clambakes) tried to hack into Facebook, like, 200,000 times in mid-2007 in order to steal user data and, presumably, use it to sell everyone buckettons [...]

And we’re back…

Everyone’s favourite really loud PBS guy is sort-of in almost-trouble again for being just a teensy bit racist during this weekend’s The McLaughlin Group (I know this is old news to every JUICEBOXdotcom reader, all of whom TiVo the fuck out of PBS at all times, so, sorry). You’d think the guy would [...]

(Which means Best/Worst is on hiatus till next week. Launch party announcement coming this week though.)

We`ve been talking this shit up for the last three months, but our Hard Core Logo Tribute Night will actually be happening on August 14, 2008. Revue Cinema. Bands to be announced, but our boy Bruce McDonald will be doing a post-screening Q+A, and we`ll be watching his personal print of the movie. Basically, it`s [...]

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

Welcome back to [...]

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

Liam Cormier is an intense and cool dude. He sings / says “yeah!” in Cancer Bats, easily [...]

News of this bonehead move came out a few days ago, but this video offers both solid visual evidence and truly creepy viewing as a bonus. Basically, McDonald’s has a whole line of Happy Meal toys tied to American Idol, including one called “New Wave Nigel” that sports a Devo energy dome and plays a [...]

When JUICEBOXdotcom’s Sam Sutherland left last week on some fancy Canadian punk tour for his job that actually pays him, we obviously wanted to find a way to drink from the party straw and parlay his good fortune into something usable for us. But when we told him we didn’t want any stinkin’ punk rock [...]

What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

His record came [...]

Photo by Jade Maravillas
The honest truth is that I heard Body Language, the debut EP from these Israeli monsters/rockers, way before I actually had any idea who they were. It showed up on my desk with about a blagillion other records, I listened to it, and I thought it was really good. Kind of Sabbath-meets-Fugazi-meets-twenty-fuzzboxes. [...]