If a band doesn’t keep a detailed tour diary on their MySpace, they’re probably penning a paid blog for a “more reputable” news source. So in the interest of not being the same as other crappy places on the internet, we here at JUICEBOXdotcom had a better idea. Bands, like many traveling groups of people, sometimes have a few more drinks than they should during the odd night of musical revelry. On some of those nights, they use their cellular phones to send text messages. To dudes in bands: JUICEBOXdotcom has leapt in to take the place of your State-side ex-girlfriend. We present to you, loyal readers and dudes in bands, a new feature we have cleverly titled, “Bands Drunk Txt Us On Tour.”

Texter, sober.

For our first installment, we visit The Flatliners, who are awesome, from Richmond Hill, and more successful than you. They’re in Europe right now, playing festivals with NOFX and making tons of money. Where the hell are you?

FROM:
4006
MESSAGE
é@¥+$£hey sam, its chris. i am wasted in Switzerland. We were in 3 different countries today. Loud and drunk Canadians in Euroland. Ate hors
RECEIVED ON
May 29, 08 8:14pm

FROM:
4006
MESSAGE
é@¥+$$nd. Got drunk. Thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We’ve become sleazy eurotrash.
-theflatliners
RECEIVED ON
May 29, 08 8:14pm

(Bonus points for anyone who can decipher what is it they’re eating. Hors? Horsnd? Nothing makes sense anymore.)