What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

At this point, there isn’t much we could say that hasn’t been said in the forty blamillion comments you can find on our Worst Mondays with this guy. And our follow-up post. Yeah, it’s been that kind of a week.

It’s probably important to remind all the kids at home that we’ve made a point of not editing or deleting any of the comments on our previous Kinsella post. Some people said some whacked-out, totally preposterous shit (on both sides), and while we don’t agree with a lot of it, we here at JUICEBOXdotcom are strong proponents of whacked out, totally preposterous shit. And seriously, you know you’re doing something right when an interview about your hair gets your haters up in arms. Let’s see how they deal with the more POSI-SHIT:

Best injury
Scar to my mug, incurred in a bar brawl. It’s still there. I catch people staring at it sometimes, and it always provides a bit of conversational fodder.

Best historical figure
Jesus Christ. He was clearly a Socialist, he was clearly married to Mary Magdalene, and he would clearly be appalled by what people do in his name. Mohamed and Moses would likely share his view, in that regard.

Best shirt
My black Stiff Records’ “IF IT AIN’T STIFF, IT AIN’T WORTH A FUCK.” I loved that shirt. I protected it from my mother for months, but I eventually had to remove it. She swooped in, ostensibly on a laundry pretext, and I never saw it again. I would give a hundred bucks for a shirt like that.

Best thing to do with $20
Buy a Stiff Records “IF IT AIN’T STIFF, IT AIN’T WORTH A FUCK” tee. Failing that, Searching For A Former Clarity by Against Me. I will be buried to that record. That, or “Fuck Christmas” by Fear. Haven’t decided yet.

Best party trick
I can talk like Barney the dinosaur. Honest. Also, I do an excellent impersonation of Obama clapping.

Best monster
I am scared shitless of zombies. My fellow members of the Hot Nasties saw Dawn of the Dead when it came out — in an, um, altered state — and I haven’t been the same since. Every house I live in, I consider the zombie-proofing possibilities.

Best question ever asked of you in an interview. Now answer it:
“What is hate?” Charlotte Gray asked me that for Saturday Night, when they were writing about my book Web of Hate. I said, eventually, it was the opposite of love, but that is a lame answer. The real answer is that hate is a commitment to destroy. If I’m right, quite a few of us are haters.