Canadian Politics: Now With Almost As Much Excitement As American Politics!

Straight up, JUICEBOXdotcom doesn’t know exactly what it thinks of this. In a nutshell, the Liberals, NDP, and Bloc are in talks to form a coalition government which would topple our existing minority Tory government. What? SOMETHING EXCITING, VAGUELY CONTROVERSIAL AND UNDOUBTEDLY INTERESTING TO A LARGE PORTION OF THE POPULATION INVOLVING CANADIAN POLITICIANS? It’s like some kind of wonderful dream. I can’t wait for our “Ignatieff” tag cloud to explode like so much Sarah Palin porno news. I feel so relevant!

Essentially, the opposition parties think the Tory’s economic package is stupid (it is). The idea of toppling a minority government with a coalition that represents the interests and votes of a larger percentage of Canadians sounds vaguely okay. Except there are a lot of people (this guy included) who voted for one of those parties and wouldn’t dream (except in horrifying night terrors) of voting for the others. There’s the politically dangerous move of getting into bed with a seperatist party (even if their social, environmental, and economic policies are basically the same as the NDP). And the question of who would act as Prime Minister. Jack Layton has already nixed working with Dion as PM, which leaves, what, Ignatieff or Bob Rae? I didn’t vote for those guys. And I wouldn’t. One of them was so in favour of the war in Iraq I think he wanted to marry it and the other one ran Ontario into the ground in the ’90s.

Don’t get us wrong. We really, really hate the Conservatives. They suck. Harper sucks, his ads suck, his sweaters suck, his family is probably full of assholes. But (and this pains the shit of me to say), he got elected. Canada is not Toronto. And a centre-left coalition government with the balance of power held by the Liberals is basically a Liberal government. And they only got 26% of the vote. I would love to live in a country where the majority of citizens supported a gloriously socialist, mega-left, hippie government. Seriously. It’s my dream. But right now Canada’s not that country.

Also, I think all politicians are liars. And fuck the police. [Ed.’s note: YEAH FUCK’EM!1]

Posted on November 28, 2008 by | Old Stuff | 10 Comments »| Tags: , ,


10 Responses »

  1. Canoe’s story reported that Dion would act as the leader of the coalition government, at least for the first few months (until the Liberal leadership convention in May).

    It seems that Harper’s constant game of chicken with the opposition parties has finally pushed them over the edge – good. No representative (and by extension, their constituents) should be held hostage like the Liberals, NDP and Bloc have been over the last 2 years. While it’s within the government’s right to tag major motions as “confidence issues”, it’s an extremely underhanded tactic for holding onto power and imposing their will. Minority governing parties should work together with their opponents, not point a gun to their heads.

    I normally don’t throw my support behind the “anybody but this guy” argument – I prefer voting for somebody as opposed to voting against somebody else – but I’m coming to the end of my thread with the Harper government. I can deal with the fact that he won the prize of Prime Minister, but he doesn’t own the thoughts and minds of the majority of Canadians. His government is not bigger than Canada, and it shouldn’t act like it – we shouldn’t let it act like it.

  2. My favourite part was when Sam said “juicebox” wasn’t sure what it thought… then he proceeded to tell us exactly what he thought.

    Didn’t the election already happen? The article linked to at the top is just a bunch of more election promises. Jeez. When they just clown the fuck around and keep spewing “i’d be better than you” garbage, it really makes you regret voting in the first place.

  3. And TORONTO isn’t bigger than Canada, and shouldn’t act like it. Seriously.
    The conservative government is acting like a conservative government. Their economic plan is kinda stupid, but it seems in stride with a conservative mentality. I have no real problems with the conservatives. My only problem with them is when they backed out of cutting arts funding. They should have slit the throats of every shitty, grant-dependent artist in this country. Why is my dad paying for your shitty performance art? Why is my mom paying the rent on your soulless, trend-hopping gallery. Any culture dependent on government handouts isn’t much of a culture to begin with. Songs will still be sung. Books will still be written. Paintings will still be painted. Except they’ll be created by people who work for their art, rather than people who look to their art for work.
    I would have voted Bloc if there was a rep in my riding (I’m not complaining, I made my contribution to the “orange crush” of Northern Ontario – that’s right, apparently hicks are liberal). But I’d rather vote for someone I could trust has conviction. Do you know why the conservative party was up against a handful of liberal parties this year? Because the conservatives stopped being petty and joined together on central ideals. But the ‘liberal’ parties probably wont do that. Because, like all liberal-minded people I know, they’ll placate to the other liberal parties in public and privately think that they’re vaginas who just want attention.
    But I guess now they’ve found their uniting ideal in adopting Danny Williams’ Anyone But Conservative mentality.
    Whatever. Doesn’t matter who I vote for. It’s not helping my dick get wet.

  4. sam, you are so left that even professor x cant find you using cerebro

  5. I’ll probably just post about this later anyways (see comments on other posts regarding my “fury” and “ability to post on my own website when furious”), but is anyone else way bummed about this “proroguing” bullshit? Did anyone else even know that was a word before today?

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