Canadian Politics: Now With Almost As Much Excitement As American Politics!
Straight up, JUICEBOXdotcom doesn’t know exactly what it thinks of this. In a nutshell, the Liberals, NDP, and Bloc are in talks to form a coalition government which would topple our existing minority Tory government. What? SOMETHING EXCITING, VAGUELY CONTROVERSIAL AND UNDOUBTEDLY INTERESTING TO A LARGE PORTION OF THE POPULATION INVOLVING CANADIAN POLITICIANS? It’s like some kind of wonderful dream. I can’t wait for our “Ignatieff” tag cloud to explode like so much Sarah Palin porno news. I feel so relevant!
Essentially, the opposition parties think the Tory’s economic package is stupid (it is). The idea of toppling a minority government with a coalition that represents the interests and votes of a larger percentage of Canadians sounds vaguely okay. Except there are a lot of people (this guy included) who voted for one of those parties and wouldn’t dream (except in horrifying night terrors) of voting for the others. There’s the politically dangerous move of getting into bed with a seperatist party (even if their social, environmental, and economic policies are basically the same as the NDP). And the question of who would act as Prime Minister. Jack Layton has already nixed working with Dion as PM, which leaves, what, Ignatieff or Bob Rae? I didn’t vote for those guys. And I wouldn’t. One of them was so in favour of the war in Iraq I think he wanted to marry it and the other one ran Ontario into the ground in the ’90s.
Don’t get us wrong. We really, really hate the Conservatives. They suck. Harper sucks, his ads suck, his sweaters suck, his family is probably full of assholes. But (and this pains the shit of me to say), he got elected. Canada is not Toronto. And a centre-left coalition government with the balance of power held by the Liberals is basically a Liberal government. And they only got 26% of the vote. I would love to live in a country where the majority of citizens supported a gloriously socialist, mega-left, hippie government. Seriously. It’s my dream. But right now Canada’s not that country.
Also, I think all politicians are liars. And fuck the police. [Ed.’s note: YEAH FUCK’EM!1]