Have you ever imagined what The Sixth Sense would have been like if the little kid hadn’t been such a bitch and had tried to actually listen to all the dead people? Maybe they just needed help or something, like Mischa Barton did (hot even when far too young and vomiting).
Well Ghost Town does [...]

It’s just about blizzarding outside. It’s just about blizzarding outside and I live in a charming but kinda dinky basement apartment. So it’s hella-snowing outside, I live underground, and as such there is little else in this world that I want to do more than curl up with my laptop and watch Sabrina the Teenage [...]

Simply the best.

The ultimate cliché album has me fighting with myself to not write cliché jokes about it. Roofies, frat boys/sorority girls, keg stands, gym passes, fantasy football leagues, drunk driving, Greek alphabets: all off limits. I’m gonna walk 500 miles in someone else’s shoes for once.
This album plays out like a party should [...]

30 Rock: Season 2 doesn’t even need a review, because it is a fact that every single person (sources pending) in the world loves it now. And rightfully so.
The writers strike put the kibosh on a third of the planned episodes for Season 2. This allows the short season an easy three rotations in your [...]

Man. Kanye West is really bummed out.
His mom died then he dumped his fiancée and then T-Pain gave him the keys to the Auto-Tune and friends, there you have 808s and Heartbreak.
TAKE HEED. This is not a hip hop record. This is a pop record. It is an eerie, angry documentation of a very specific [...]

This past weekend I saw Twilight, a new teen romance movie where ‘has-trouble-fitting-in’ Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) falls in love with ‘107-years-old-but-somehow-still-angsty-vampire’ Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
My official judgment on the film: It’s not awful.
The general expectation that I polled from my friends was that they expected this movie to be contrived and for [...]

Toronto After Dark is pretty much the best damn way to spend a week in October. It’s a horror/action/sci-fi/cult film fest run out of the Bloor Cinema by this great dude named Adam Lopez who is truly passionate about the dissemination of blood and guts and gore.

We saw all these movies and you are [...]

Bond came out this weekend. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s really your own fault.
Before I get into the review portion of the… review, I want to flip (this is new slang for give, forward or push in your direction) you some numbers. This is the 22nd Bond film, and the second [...]

The movie came to a close and I turn to my girlfriend. She turns to me and says, rather bluntly, “well, that was a disappointment” [Ed.'s note: HIGH FIVE, LAUREN].
Having heard in advance that Sam and Ashley did not like the film [Ed.'s note: but do very much like Charlie Kaufman], I’m momentarily stunned; [...]

What do you get when you mash together every song ever and then mash together 2500 people?
I’ve honestly never been to that big a dance party in my whole life. Even in places where dancing happens! I’ve been circling ideas around in my head since last night, trying to suss out the best way to [...]

I forgive you for the harpsichord song.

Last weekend I went to the Fest. Now I’m going home. Slowly. The time spent in a van with six other dudes has given me plenty of time to think about my life and the sad, directionless way I live it. Jokes. Everything rules. I wrote about this simple truth twice this week. And in [...]

[Ed.'s note: this was received with a note from Chris Nash that read: "Here's your fucking Joan Crawford. Six typed pages of it. People need to know this stuff." And now we give it to you, gentle reader.]
I wasn’t a fan of Joan Crawford when I watched this collection. Other than Mildred Peirce, I [...]

This record is a perfect reminder of what a jerk I can be sometimes. Because it’s really good, and everyone “buzzed” about them last time around, but I couldn’t be bothered. I just ignored them and every good thing every one of my friends said about them.
If you skip past the few slower tracks, O [...]

Twenty-Three. That’s how many times I’ve seen the best Charlie Brown episode of all time. Once each year since I was born.
Yeah, it’s better than the Christmas episode (“oooh”-ing in unison is no longer cool, you fucks), and way better than the rest. You got Charlie with the faulty ghost costume, the Halloween party with [...]

Hospital Bombers is a band from Amsterdam, Netherlands. They’re so Dutch, their website isn’t even in English. However, they sing lovely songs in what I believe is English.
Their first album, Footnotes, has a sound that fondly reminds me of English speaking/singing bands like Cake or The Mountain Goats. There’s even a dash of The [...]

If there’s one kind of “people” I like, it’s people who tell it like it is. You know? People who aren’t afraid to not think before they speak, and just blurt out whatever, but mostly, I love people who can make a career out of that, like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Kathy Griffin. So [...]

Dear haters,
Step off.

The rest of you can carry on.
I guess you could say that part of me has been waiting 20 years for what happened Thursday night.
Without a trace of irony, myself and 8,999 of my closest friends packed the Air Canada Centre for the first stop on the New Kids on the Block North [...]

Planes Mistaken For Stars
We Ride To Fight! The First Four Years
The first thing I heard from Planes Mistaken For Stars was their wicked awesome song ‘Belly Full of Hell’ off Up In Them Guts, which still stands as the best album title of all time. Anyway, I remember thinking, wow, this song is really complex [...]

On the surface, Raw Feed has a lot going for it. It’s an arm of Warner Brothers distribution centered on making straight-to-DVD low-budget horror and it’s headed by half the directing team of The Blair Witch Project and a few writers from The X-Files. Which is why I find myself disappointed with what they have [...]

So this past weekend was Fan Expo, the biggest annual convention Toronto sees for all things relating to comic books, science fiction, anime, horror, and gaming. Basically a lot of geek in one place.

What follows is a report of the few (there were just so many!) events I was able to attend over [...]

The Life of Mammals. The Life of Birds. The Trials of Life. Get it? Good. The BBC is seriously into life. Not just any ordinary old life, I’m talking the best of the best: whales, gorillas, phytoplankton and parrots. You would think that the solid gold animals that make up these documentary series would make [...]

Being the coolest fucking dude on the internet, I just got home from a midnight screening of the most nerd-boner-inducing movie of 2008, The Dark Knight. It’s now almost 4 a.m. and my house is about four or five degrees hotter than it is outside, which would make it about 35 degrees Celsius in my [...]

“I think I am going to find my husband here tonight,” Claire Richardson said as we walked up to Ribfest. Claire always says what everyone is thinking but is too scared to say. The 9th annual Toronto Ribfest was held from June 27th-July 1st at Centennial Park in Etobicoke. It’s got everything one could ever [...]

More than bad, this show is confusing. The premise seems to be that our hero, who boasts his profession as doing “a lot of things,” has a “burn notice out on” him. Judging by the plotline, it’s like being blacklisted, only sexier. But sexy or not, I’m not entirely positive what burn notice means, so [...]

Most have already forgotten, but this past weekend saw the 14th annual NXNE music/film festival and conference shove into Toronto, bringing with it hordes of industry geeks, regular people, and oh yeah, bands. I scored two wristbands and though I wasn’t stoked on too much this year, I do enjoy scouring data and making lists, [...]

Photo by Jade Maravillas
The honest truth is that I heard Body Language, the debut EP from these Israeli monsters/rockers, way before I actually had any idea who they were. It showed up on my desk with about a blagillion other records, I listened to it, and I thought it was really good. Kind of Sabbath-meets-Fugazi-meets-twenty-fuzzboxes. [...]

Coldplay has a new album out today. If you like this band, you’ll like Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends and if you don’t, you won’t. So instead of wasting time reviewing the album, let’s review the album cover.
The painting seen here is by a famous Romanticist painter named Eugene Delacroix. It’s [...]

I always pop a huge double-boner for this band whenever I hear about them ‘cause a) their name is a total Star Wars homage, and b) they’re the ones responsible for the theme to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Man, that’s a good theme. I think it was like the third thing I ever learned [...]

Maaaaaan. Considering I chose this out of our Free Pile based on the triple-threat of ridiculousness that is its cover image + title + tagline, I feel like a bit of a goon for actually having enjoyed it in earnest. So goonly, in fact, that I’ve avoided slopping together a review for about a month [...]

That’s it.
I think I’ll review all movies with poorly-constructed mosaics from now on. Plus give any person who can offer a reasonable explanation for each picture a five-dollar bill and a hearty pat on the back. Seriously. Hit me up.

Playing the part of space cowboy, Kanye West hauled his Glow In the Dark circus into the Molson Amphitheatre Wednesday night. And in true Kanye fashion, the futuristic theme of his set was hinged on him being needed to save the planet as, naturally, the best and brightest star in the galaxy. These are actual [...]

There is no such thing as bad television.
After popping in disc one of Joey season two, I assure you that I still believe this to be true with every inch of my bloody, pulsating heart.
Admittedly, there are a few shows out there that — to an untrained viewer — initially seem like garbage. [...]

This was probably one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever taken part in [...]

Does anyone remember the straight to video G.I. Joe movie where Cobra teams up with an underground race of snake people to release space spores into the atmosphere that will de-evolve humans into amoebas? It’s a good movie. I think there was a scene in it where Bazooka gets hit by Cobra laser fire and [...]

So this one time at Live 8, this guy called Elton John asked Pete Doherty to perform “Children of the Revolution” with him. Sir Elton John thought it was a good idea to ask the guy who squirted a syringe full of blood at an MTV News camera if he’d perform “Children of the Revolution” [...]

You know when there’s something in life you’ve always at least partially wanted to do, but due to circumstances or laziness or paralyzing fear of failure, you just don’t? It’s nice when someone else does it instead and it turns out to be a bust. Saves you the upset. Instead you sit and listen to [...]

Look at all those fuckin’ heroes. Standing on rubble or something, all steely and awesome. Third Watch, the show which introduced these heroes to the world, is the fuckin’ raddest show ever. It makes me wish I was saving babies or stopping kids from selling their bodies for drug money instead of writing about Third Watch like an asshole. But someone’s got to spread the gospel. We all have our burdens.

Do you like The Karate Kid? Me too, kind of. See, I like the story but I hate good acting. That’s why I love Never Back Down. Ralph Macchio is like the coolest child actor ever, and that’s lame. Thankfully, the producers solved this problem in their retooling of this classic story by casting Kevin [...]

Despite having a perfect 1:1 ratio of good albums to totally shit albums, Foo Fighters are still one of the most entertaining bands in rock ‘n’ roll. I mean, they seriously haven’t put out a listenable record since 1999. So it’s beyond my realm of understanding how Dave Grohl and co. managed to play for [...]