Sexy Sunday Sports Section: December 14, 2008
This is a special collector edition of the Sexy Sunday Sports Section.
This week we celebrate America and how the most popular baseball team in the world is setting the example during tough economic times by frivolously spending insane amounts of money on pitchers.
The New York Yankees have signed CC Sabathia (formerly a Milwaukee Brewer) and AJ Burnett (formerly and currently a shitty pitcher) to a 7 year/$161 million contract and a 5 year/$82.5 million contract, respectively. Which brings the ultimate question:
What you and your buddy could buy with USD$243,500,000:
-174,820,144 Big Macs
-53,642,384 shares of Domino’s Pizza Inc.
-30,413,016 used copies of Jingle All The Way
-16,200,000 mickeys of JD
-you could see Seven Pounds 12,150,000 times
-6,944,841 copies of Pokemon Pearl (or Diamond)
-6,075,000 sets of the Twilight book series
-745.000 full outfits at Aritzia
-486,000 iPhones (in Canada)
-12,150 2009 SmartCars (Urkel Car) including the insurance
-243 Tim Horton’s franchises
-97 times a CFL team’s payroll
-9 times A-Rod’s contract
-8 trips to space with NASA (or 29 trips with the Russians)
-1 big fucking waste of money
So long AJ you stupid sack of worthless shit.
Have any cool sports clips, articles, or ideas for stories? Send them my way firstname.lastname@example.org.