This week in sports history
On November 22nd 1989, Kirby Puckett signed a 3-year $9,000,000 deal with the Minnesota Twins. Pocket change right? Not exactly. He became the first player to ever sign for an average salary of 3 million a year. And that was just 19 years ago. Today, A-Rod gets 27.5 million annually, an inflation of 900% for the best player in baseball. (NOTE: Writing about Puckett’s contract induced a long trip through wikipedia, during which I read about Wayne Gretzky and his move to LA, etc. I also read about the Heritage Classic, which was played on November 22nd 2003!! WEIIRDDD)

UN-Coolest thing that happened this past week
The Knicks traded away contracts to potentially make room for Lebron James in 2010. But that’s actually really uncool. Roberto Luongo got injured today though, which is equally uncool because it will give people from BC one more thing to whine about and use as another reason to hate Toronto.

The hockey team I think will finish in last place at season’s end
Obviously the Islanders are really bad, as I’ve been stating for weeks. But the Stars are turning into the 2008 Detroit Tigers, and things got even worse the other day when Brendan Morrow was injured for the season (thanks to Willie Whish for the info on that one). So the Dallas Stars are now projected to finish last in the NHL via my intricate formula (5×7+98/55x#games+#wins+1×0 = Dallas Stars)

Cool athlete power rankings (who I wish I was)
1. Bron Bron
2. Nadal
3. Zach Parise
4. Beckham (there a few days every year when I find Posh kinda hot…)
5. Tom Brady (maxin n relaxin!)

What I am watching this week
I moved my apartment around and now have a couch that faces the TV, hence I am one step to eventually watching something on it. Its 7:12 p.m. right now, the Leafs are on… don’t get me wrong, I care, but it’s like watching your kid’s swimming lessons when he is 12. It was fun a few years back, and he’s not really any good, and you’re crossing your fingers for the future when he might become a star. But until then, you just read the newspaper on the side and briefly look up once in a while.

Vagin of the week
Has Michael Vick had the honor of being one of my weekly Vagins? The former superstar quarterback-but-ran-a-dog-fighting-league-and-is-now-in-jail had a court date in Virginia the other day, during which several details of how he hung, drowned, and buried dogs emerged, all things that should now be done to him by horny dinosaurs when he gets out.

Have any cool sports clips, articles, or ideas for stories? Send them my way: luc@juiceboxdotcom.com.