Last week I came off as really bored. Which I really was. Sports got boring for a couple days. But this week they came back with a fucking fury!

This week In Being Paid 27.5 Million A Year
Even if you don’t follow Baseball, you’ve definitely heard the names “Barry Bonds” and “Rogers Clemens” in the same sentence as the word “Steroids” and “Fat Cunner.” Basically, two of the best baseball careers ever have been tainted by cheating allegations (allegations that are likely realities).

Well this week Alex Rodriguez, the player that was on his way to being the best ever and the “savior” of the MLB, admitted to using steroids from 2001-2003. Well that’s it folks. Baseball is forever tainted. The American pastime is now a farce. Last April I wrote Six Reasons To Go See the Blue Jays This Summer, this year I will write 6 Reasons Not To Fucking Care. Instead I will write about the wicked drunk movie nights I’ve been having (see last week’s article).

This week In Saving Your Job
Rogers cut 1,000 jobs. Do you think Ted woulda let that happen? No fucking way. Also, the Blue Jays haven’t made a single fucking move this off-season, prompting me to rip JP Ricciardi (the man in charge of absence of off-season moves) a new fucking asshole using the Internet. *RRRRRRIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP* Make me care for fuck’s sake!

Other Insane Shit
The NBA All Star game was on last night. I didn’t watch it. But guess what! (what) The Toronto Raptors are awful. In fact, every time in the NBA is awful except for four of them. The Raps made a long anticipated move last week, trading Shawn Marion for Jermaine O’Neal (baby dolphin) and Jamario Moon (from Meridian Community College). If you don’t know what that means, it’s ok. I don’t either. Check back with me in October about basketball.