BEST FRIDAYS!: with Bruce LaBruce
Posted on June 6, 2008 by Ashley Carter
What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So, for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!
When I was about ten I was playing with home-made slingshots with my hateful older brother one weekend. They were made of mason jar rings. When I was aiming one, I let go of the wrong end and the elastic snapped back and hit my right eye. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
My iris – or something – filled up with blood and all I could see was white. I thought I was going to be blind, so I was wailing. My mother said, “Don’t worry, you’ll still have the other eye,” which made me wail even more.
On the way to the hospital we had to stop for gas and a bee got into the car, so my mother had to stand there at the gas station with me wailing while my father shooed it out. It was quite a spectacle.
At the hospital they decided not to operate, but instead I had to lay flat on my back for a week, with both eyes bandaged, and not move. This was very difficult for a ten-year old. It was kind of spooky, and I think it scarred me for life, although I did gain back all the sight in the eye. Now a cataract has formed around the scar.
Best historical figure
Best thing to do with $20
Best party trick
One-handed cartwheel. You can see me do it at the end of my movie Hustler White.
Otto! You can see him in my new melancholy gay zombie movie, Otto; or, Up with Dead People. Best monster not of my own creation: Liberace!
Best question ever asked of you in an interview
In a recent interview somebody asked me what my favourite Madonna song was and I said, “Where Life Begins.” Later in the same interview they asked me what was the most embarrassing question I’ve ever been asked was, and I said “What’s my favourite Madonna song.”