What’s Worst Mondays without a dark and villainous foil? That’s the kind of thinking that forced us to create Best Fridays. So for all our weekend warrior brethren: Wooooo, T-G-I-F, right? Herein we hope to bookend your awful week by quizzing our previous Worst Mondays candidate about slightly more encouraging things. Every Friday!

Yes, it’s Friday. Which means it’s time to hear about some of internet award winning comic strip writer/artist/wonderguy Jeph Jacques’ Bests.

Best injury
I was opening a pocketknife when it slipped out of my hand and I instinctively tried to catch it before it hit the ground. The blade went through the webbing between the ring and middle fingers of my left hand and severed an artery. Blood EVERYWHERE. I ended up getting stitches and drew a comic that night with my hand all bandaged up (I’m left handed). I felt like a badass. An idiotic badass.

Best historical figure
Einstein.

Best shirt
My grey Hum tshirt from their 1997 tour. I can’t actually wear it anymore because it’s too beaten up but it has a little shrine in the bottom of my dresser.

Best thing to do with $20
You can probably buy a couple books with 20 dollars. Or a bunch of comics.

Best party trick
I’m really good at drinking too much and regretting it the next day. G-good times?

Best monster
The Blob.

Best question ever asked of you in an interview. Now answer it:
Too much pressure to come up with something clever aaaaugh sdjektllsckrnnwjxjfk//////

At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!

The internet is a beautiful place, isn’t it? As if animals riding other animals weren’t enough, there’s this great comic strip you may have heard of called Questionable Content. Haven’t heard of it? Shame on you. Basically, it’s about romance, indie rock, and the occasional robot. If you haven’t read them, you really should. I read it, like, everyday.

Jeph Jacques is the mastermind (aka writer/artist) behind this strip, which began on August 1, 2003. Originally published 2 days a week, Jacques eventually quit his job (!) and began publishing 5 days a week. A member of the Dayfree Press, an independent webcomic collective (along with previous best/worster Ryan North), Jacques is one of those successful few who has made a business out of his art, openly commenting on how the comic strip is his only job. Lucky guy! More importantly, lucky us for having free access to the QC archive of over 1200 full colour strips! Enough waiting:

Worst day-job
My last real job involved sitting behind a desk and answering phones for a local alternative newspaper all day. The pay was shit, it was monotonous as hell, and somehow I managed to make it two years before getting fired. That was the really scary, awful part - those two years went by so fast, I can totally see how people end up working jobs they hate for their entire lives. You just get up in the morning, try not to flip out and kill everyone all day, then go home and go to bed. Repeat 20000 times. Eeeeeeek.

Worst haircut
I routinely give myself homemade Mohawks. Worst haircut… OR BEST HAIRCUT???

Worst subculture
Juggalos. I know I am not being very original here but come on.

Worst date
Back in high school I was supposed to go see the remastered Star Wars with this girl I was really into. Only the theater was in DC and I was a stupid kid from the Maryland suburbs so I got completely lost trying to find the theater and meet up with her. I ended up finding the theater just in time to catch the end of the movie, but I never did manage to meet up with the girl. She dumped me a week later. Then we started a band together. Awkward?

Worst invention
Cassette tapes.

Worst purchase
My iPhone, because now I CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT IT.

Worst way to die
Hyenas. They basically start eating you before you even lose consciousness.