WORST MONDAYS: with Ryan North
At JUICEBOX HQ, we’ve never really had a case of the Mondays because we don’t have real-people jobs. But for those feeling a bit garfield this A.M., feel free to wallow in other people’s most hated things. Every Monday!
Who is Ryan North? First, he is the mastermind behind the hugely popular Dinosaur Comics. Published online, as well as in various free not-for-profit newspapers/campus newspapers, it’s about talking dinosaurs, and specifically a talking T-rex.
As if that weren’t enough, make sure you pay close attention to the art in every comic. Yes, I know. Brilliant! Second, he is a solid dude who lives in the solid city of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Third, talking Dinosaurs!!
I think the question you should be asking is Who isn’t Ryan North?
The closest I had to a day job was working for the company my dad worked at one summer in the early ’90s (maybe late ’80s?). My job was to duplicate floppy diskettes: put in a disk, hit return, and when it’s done, put in a new disk. It was boring but I figured out how to get a TSR MIDI program to load (this was all DOS, remember), so I could listen to my MIDI version of Axel F and it only slowed down copying by 5%. GOOD TIMES.
I was growing out my hair for Cuts For Cancer, where once a year they show up and you can donate your hair and they make a wig for a child undergoing cancer treatment. A classy thing to do! Except that after a year my hair was down past my shoulders and I forgot my appointment. It would be TRULY TERRIBLE for me to cut the hair off then, so I had to wait another year for them to come back again. My hair was down past my waist and when I rolled over in my sleep I could get caught in it. It was too much hair. I did not forget my second appointment.
People who don’t have Asperger’s, but self-diagnose themselves with Asperger’s, and then use Asperger’s as an excuse for behaving like a dick on the internet. THAT IS NOT HOW THIS CONDITION WORKS, GUYS.
I have only ever been on good dates! One time I got lost with my girlfriend in the moors in England and we both fell into a bog/river thing and then after we got out without drowning I stepped on a cow patty that was somehow baked and under pressure. Anyway, bright green liquid cow poo sprayed all up my leg and my shirt and then we had to hitchhike back home to our hotel. But that, my friend, was Good Times.
Autodialers. And the people who use them. And spammers. Who invented spammers, man? Screw that guy.
I was going to say my purchase of hotforthecock.com, but that turned out to be awesome, because now I can make hotforthecock.com point to any website I want. Sometimes it points at some friend’s Facebook page. Sometimes, it points at my own.
Worst way to die
Drowning, oh god.